Day 24, goals revisited, good-bye January!

It's that time.  Time to see how I did with the goals I set a couple of weeks ago, so here they are:

Goals for this week (days 8-14):

• continue to move daily for at least 20 minutes
• eat a majority of "real" food and a minimum of processed foods.  This means meal planning!
• Run a minimum of 9 miles for the week
• 8 cups of water per day

Goals for January:

• Lose 5 pounds (1.5/week)
• Register for 2 races to be completed by the end of June
• Up my mileage to 15 miles/week

For the second week goals, I crushed it.  I ran 14.1 miles, did some sort of exercise daily for a minimum of 20 minutes, cooked a ton of really good food, and kept up with my water intake.

I didn't do as well with my overall January goals. I DID lose 11.2 pounds (yay me!) but my mileage was still at 14 miles/week.  My total mileage for January was 45 miles!  I DID register for 2 races but one is in May and one is in August.  I need to find another shorter race in March or April.

So here are some updated goals for February (to add to the goals I've already accomplished):

• Lose 7 pounds by March 1
• Register for a 5 or 10K to be completed before June
• Up my mileage to 18 miles/week
• Run 50 miles in February
• Up my speed to 5.2 mph consistently (I am currently at 5.0)

As a reward for losing 10 pounds I bought myself some really stylin' slippers

I'm really hoping they come tomorrow so I can wear them for the Super Bowl :)

I'm already trying to decide what I want to do for my next 10 pounds!

Aside from feeling sort of cranky and out of sorts today at work, I'm feeling pretty good overall.  I'm working hard and accomplishing the things I'm setting out to do and that feels pretty darn good.

Day 23

I can't believe I've been at this for 23 days!  It seems like such a long time but it also seems like I just started this journey.

It came up again how I keep doing this day after day and how I even got started to begin with.  I didn't have a clear answer the first time I was asked but now I do.  The pain of being who and where I was became greater than the pain of starting.  And continuing.  every time I feel like I should just quit I remember sitting here crying because of how much I hated the person I'd become.  How much I hated how I looked and felt.

23 days isn't a long time really but it's been long enough for me to see a change in how I feel about myself and my life.  I don't yet see a change in my body but that will happen eventually.  No, wait.  That's not true.  I do see a change in my body's strength.  I just don't see a change in how I look yet.

Day 1

Day 22

As promised, here are some progress pics.  As I said, I don't see a change yet but I'm excited to take more pictures as time goes by and seeing my body become stronger and healthier.  I'm hoping that the next time I post pics like this I'll be able to say WOW! Please pay no attention to the messiness, it's called life :)


Day 1

Day 22




For today's moving I was assigned a 60 minute run.  The longest run I've done in 2014.  I surprised myself and ran part of it at 4.8 and part at 5.0 and ended up going about 5 miles.  I was so worried I was going to have to walk part of it and I didn't!



Here's a pic at about 50 minutes in.  Not too bad :)

Days 20, 21, and 22

Hello!  I'm still here!  I'm still moving!

Snowmegedden has really put a wrench in my blogging.  With all these snow days, even though I ran/worked out, I spent all the rest of the time just enjoying being snowed in with 2 of my favorite people.




So, I am still stuck on the Dreadmill.  I really don't like it but I am grateful that it is an option for me.  My coach is now sending my training plan in minutes instead of miles until I get back up to where I was so on Monday I did 45 minutes which translated to 3.6 miles.  I am so proud of the fact that I've been running the whole time.

Monday, 1/27/14

On Tuesday, I did 30 minutes (2.4 miles).  I don't know why I am scared to up the mph from 4.8 to 5.0.  Maybe I'm afraid I'll have to slow it down again or walk?  I don't know but I think on my next 30-45 minute run I'll try to do it all at 5 mph.

Tuesday, 1/28/14

On Wednesday I worked and I was supposed to do yoga.  I had asked my coach whether I could still run on yoga days and she said it was ok so I did 20 minutes (1.66 miles) which was at 5 mph.  It always feels good to go faster.  Like I've accomplished some great feat.  It's a good thing the running made me feel good because I really suck at yoga haha.

Wednesday was also weigh in day. So here are my stats:

Starting weight:  196.6
Last week's weight:  187.8
Today's weight:  185.4
Total lost:  11.2 pounds!

With the loss of over 10 pounds, I adjusted my calorie goals so hopefully that won't set me back.  I plan to be extra vigilant this week.

Also since I was down over 10 pounds, I did a front and side shot.  Honestly, I don't see a difference in how I look even though 11 pounds is quite a bit.  I'm having trouble getting the pictures to upload so I will work on it and post them in the next blog post.

Now that all my blog housekeeping is done I need to do some real housekeeping.  Have a great day and don't forget to move!

 

 

 

 

 

Day 19

I am here.  I did cross-training tonight after work but I didn't really have very much energy so I'm not sure how well I did it.  But I did it.

I keep trudging along.

This last few days have been difficult for me.  I've been dealing with some unpleasant emotions that I'd rather leave under the rock they crawled out from.  I think I need a vacation.

BUT...since there will be no vacation anytime soon, I will take the next 2 days off and just relax, putter, and cook.  Some of my favorite things to do.  Spending time with my family almost always makes things if not better, then at least tolerable.

I hear my bed calling me...

Day 18

Today was a work day so I ran for 20 minutes on the dreadmill when I got  home.  

I always feel like my evenings are so short after I work, probably because they are.  I wonder when I'm on the dreadmill whether T resents the time I take for me. I really hope not because now that I've made this time I don't want to give it up.

I've been worried this week that I haven't made any progress.  It's silly, really, because I'm still working hard but the worry is still there.  Maybe because I had 2 good weeks?  I tend to have feelings of impending doom so it doesn't surprise me that I'm anxious now.

Here's my after picture...I almost forgot to take one again!

Day 17

I had a whole theme for today's post but I was derailed by yet another thing happening that I had no idea was coming and was unprepared for.  I'm not feeling very positive at this moment, so for that I apologize.

The good news is that I did my run this morning, 2 miles plus a cool down.  I'm still on track and that's important.  I won't throw this away over bad stuff happening.  I will keep going, and growing.  I'll get past this just like I get past everything else.

That seemed appropriate.

Day 16

I don't know why I wait till the end of the day to write these posts; I actually did my run this morning.  I had a huge NSV with it too.

Generally, I find something I can do and am comfortable with and just keep doing that instead of pushing myself and possibly failing.  I decided this morning to try and run at a faster pace than I had been and I did it!  For 2 whole miles!  I didn't go as far as I have been but I kept a steady pace for the entire time and felt great when I was done.

And I just realized that I forgot to take a picture when I was done so you will have to content yourselves with a picture of my newest recipe, lime cilantro shrimp.  The whole plate was 260 calories and I was full when I was done.

I've been asked how I got started and how I keep going and I really don't have an answer. I just got tired of how I looked and felt and started doing what I already knew needed doing. I have no secret, or magic pill, I just decided that instead of being defeated I needed to channel the negative energy I into something positive.

Day 15 - weigh in day!

It's so weird because I've never in my life been so excited to get to weigh in day.

So, here we go:

Starting weight:  196.6

Last weight: 191

Today's weight: 187.8!

Lost this week:  3.2. Total lost:  8.8

I'm really proud of how well I've been doing.  I've done some form of exercise everyday and I've really cleaned up my eating, without feeling deprived.  I think that's been a big difference in how I'm handling this.  I stay within my (very reasonable) calorie allowance and I let myself have treats.

I also want to say something about the scale.  I am well aware that weight is only a small part of the healthy lifestyle picture.  A very small part.  But if I'm going to be honest with myself, to me it is still a very important part.  It helps keep me accountable and allows me to have a gauge by which I can judge my performance.  I do not, however, define myself by my weight.  There are so many other much more important things by which to define myself (my compassion, intelligence, and kindness to name a few) that I don't need to become my weight.  I do like to see the number shrink though :)

Today I worked and came home to run on the dreadmill after a crazy day.  2 miles was all I could manage and I earned every but if it.

Every damn day, indeed.

Day 14

Quick post tonight.  I know it was my "day off" biut I still had 2 meetings for work and physical therapy.  And I'll be honest...I took an awesome nap LOL.

Today I wanted to change it up so I did this DVD:

I had not done it before and I really liked it. It had a lot of good stretching.

I forgot to take a picture right after but here I am now:

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm hopeful about it.  I've been able to stay on track for week 2.  It's exciting how far I've come in such a short time.

See you tomorrow!

Day 13

I almost didn't post tonight.  Not because I hadn't moved (I did) but because I am just so tired.  Today was a very long day taking care of a very sick patient and, while I did come home and run some of it off, I just didn't want to try to be funny or entertaining or whatever. 

Then I realized a couple things.  One of the things I realized is that when I am having a bad day I tend to isolate myself (shocker, right?) and that's when I get into trouble with eating or lack of motivation.  The other thing I remembered was that one of my friends told me recently that they read this blog every day.  That really meant a lot to me to know that someone took the time out of their busy day to read some drivel I am writing.  Pretty self-centered drivel at that!

So to take myself out of my bad day, keep me from isolating, and to not let down the handful of people who actually read this, here I am.

Here is the picture (as promised) from last night:

I was very glad to be done last night!

And here are the protein bars:

I have to be careful with these.  They are really quite good and I have to remember that just one is a serving.

So now we are at tonight.  I came home from an extremely long shift and ran 1.75 miles with a 5 minute cool down.  It feels good to just run and not think after thinking too hard all day.

(I love this shirt, the back says "run like Hal")

I have a busy day of appointments tomorrow so I'll call it a night.

day 12 - oops!

Just a quick entry tonight, I actually almost forgot to post!  Today has been busy in a good way, I spent time experimenting with recipes and puttering around the house.  Since I have to get to bed (work tomorrow), I'll post some pictures and recipe reviews/links tomorrow.

I got in a 1.5 mile run today on the Dreadmill.  It's so amazing how I can still try to talk myself out of getting on that dang thing.  And it takes me so long to get my clothes and shoes on that T teases me and asks me if that's my "warm up".  I need to just resign myself to the fact that I feel wonderful after I'm done so I have to stop procrastinating.

As part of my 100 day challenge I've also been logging my food every day.  So far I've not gone over my calories once and my diet has been pretty balanced.  One of the recipes I tried tonight (Spicy Buffalo Cauliflower Bites) was a bit high in sodium from the sauce so I chugged some extra water to try to counteract the effects.

Another trick I've found is to portion everything out in advance.  I'll have to take a picture of my refrigerator so you can see all the containers.  T is even asking now if something is portioned out for me before he takes it.

Well, I'm off to bed.  After I run tomorrow night I'll post all the belated pictures from today.

Have a great evening!

Day 11

I love days like today.  I didn't get a lot of housework done but I was able to run, grocery shop, and make a new healthy recipe for dinner.  I was relaxed for the most part, with no real time frame of when stuff had to get done.

I started my day with a run.  I ran 3.5 miles for Meg, a marathon mom who was killed by a drunk driver last Saturday during a training run.  Here is the Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/events/489458451159627/.  There will be a website for future runs coming in the future.  Having been almost run off the road twice since I started running, I spent my time during my run thinking of Meg and her family.  It is very sobering and puts a lot of things into perspective.  I pray that her family will eventually heal from this tragedy.

Here is my post run picture:

I wish I didn't get so red in the face!

One thing I will say, it definitely is a mental game with me, especially when I am on the Dreadmill.  I tried a new "trick", counting quarter mile laps instead of counting down time.  I felt like it went faster that way.

After my run, I spent time looking for some healthy meals and snacks I could make.  I'm really tired of processed food and always feel better when I cook.  I found a few things I want to make and spent an obscene amount of money at the grocery store.

I settled on Bacon Cheeseburger Casserole for dinner.  I got the inspiration from this recipe http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/03/cheeseburger-casserole.html.  I made some changes based on the tastes of my family.  I changed the tomatoes to 6 bell peppers, added 3 slices of bacon, and added 1 cup of beef bullion.  My version makes the same number of servings with each serving being about 1 cup and 294 calories.

The ingredients:

During cooking/assembly:

Look at all the pretty colors!
Here is the finished product:

The recipe said it was 9 servings so I will take half of it and freeze it for next week.

I ended up eating 1.5 servings because I'd eaten lightly during the day.  It was really quite good and actually tasted like a bacon cheeseburger!  I will definitely be making it again.

Now I am going to snuggle up with B and watch the TinkerBell movie.  There's plenty of time to clean later :)

Day 10!

Today was a "day off" and I spent a good part of it getting my recertification in ACLS.  How many calories does it burn doing chest compressions??  My injured arm is a little sore but not as bad as I thought it would be.

One of the best parts of my day was snuggling on the couch with B and watching "Lilo and Stitch", one of our favorites, for obvious reasons.

After this week at work, my feet were already achy.   Tonight I did 2 miles on the dreadmill, running the whole time.  Around 1.5 miles I looked over to see B standing in the doorway, applauding me.  She is definitely my best cheerleader!

And the big news?  I have put some faith in myself and registered for 2 half marathons, one is May and one in August.  I guess I'll really have to get to work now to get back in running shape.  I don't know if I dare hope for a PR at one of them.

I am cautiously optimistic about the progress I am making.  I've been battling a lot of sweets cravings this week but so far have been able to substitute healthier choices or just drink a glass of water.  One of the things I'm going to try this week is a couple of new recipes, both main course and healthier desserts.  If I like them, I'll post some recipes.

Right now I am lounging in the recliner with my feet in my soaker but here I am post run:

I'm feeling like a drama queen tonight :)

Day 9

Busy day today and I'm super tired.  I came home and did the same dreadmill run as last night (16 min run with 4 min cool down).  I'm on the right track and I don't want to mess it up now!

I feel like this week is even more important than last week.  I've found that for me it's easy to get a big number the first week and then I get complacent.  I don't want to necessarily get a big number but I do want to lose this week.

Here is today's after picture.  I'm smiling because I'm finally done haha

I really have nothing coherent, earth shattering, or even relevant to say tonight.  I'm just ready for bed!

Day 8 - Weigh in!

Today is the day!  I've worked really hard this week and even if most of my weight lost was water weight, it doesn't matter.  I did some sort of exercise/work out every day for the last 8 days.  Even when I was tired and didn't feel like it.  For me, a pretty lazy person, this is a huge feat.

So what was this morning's weight, you might ask?  Well, I'll tell you.

Starting weight:  196.6
Today's weight:   191
Pounds lost:  5.6

Over 5 freakin' pounds!  It was way more than I expected and I am so proud of myself.

Yes, yes I do :)

So for tonight's moving I ran for 15 minutes then did a 5 minute walk for cool down.  Oh and I worked today.  Yes, I am tooting my own horn, patting my own back, yadda yadda yadda...

With all that said, I realize that next week will be nothing like this week.  And I'm ok with that.  I know that what I am doing is good for me, my health, my happiness, and ultimately, my life.  There is some truth the saying "happy momma, happy home"  or something like that.

I'm not posting a picture tonight, only because I am too lazy to get out of the recliner and get the usb cord.  I'm going to eat my healthy dinner and feel proud of how much I've accomplished in the last week.

Here's to a great second week!  I'm hoping to get out of the 190's :D

Day 7 - Goals

I wanted to do a goal post (haha that sort of made me giggle and now I have to post an appropriate pic)...

...ANYWAY...I was going to have this post on my weigh in day (Wednesday) but since I'm working tomorrow I don't know how much extra energy and time I'll have to do it.  So today is the day.

I did really well on my goals for this week:

• Move everyday this week for at least 20 minutes.
• Open up to others about my journey in order to get the support I need (hence this blog!)
• Focus on the positive today.  When those negative voices start chattering, tell them to shut the **** up!
• Let those who love me, love me.  Put faith in them and believe that when they say I am beautiful, believe it to be so.

Actually I did better than really well...I crushed them :)  So for this week, I am going to post goals for the week and also for the month of January.  I'm also going to give myself more credit instead of underestimating what I am capable of accomplishing.

Goals for this week (days 8-14):

• continue to move daily for at least 20 minutes
• eat a majority of "real" food and a minimum of processed foods.  This means meal planning!
• Run a minimum of 9 miles for the week
• 8 cups of water per day

Goals for January:

• Lose 5 pounds (1.5/week)
• Register for 2 races to be completed by the end of June
• Up my mileage to 15 miles/week

I will get into more long term goals after I complete a month of this challenge.  I'm happy to work on these for now.

Today's moving is already done.  I wanted to switch it up so I did a hodge podge of things.  I warmed up with jumping jacks, punches, jumping rope, and kicks.  Then I did an interactive work out I found on U-Verse

I didn't feel like it was enough, though, so then I ran on the Dreadmill for 10 minutes at 4.8 mph with a cool down of 3 mph for 5 minutes.

Still smiling!  It feels good to be done for the day.  Now to tackle my laundry!

Have a great day everyone and see you tomorrow.  I'm excited to weigh in!

Day 6 - Full of Awesome!

What an incredible day!  I feel like Wonder Woman today, like I am really going to be able to accomplish everything I've set out to do. 

This is what I felt like.

 

 

This is what I looked like before.

And this is what I looked like after.

So damn proud of myself!  I ran 4 miles in the gorgeous weather outside today.  I didn't know if I could do it and the first mile was so hard!  But I kept going and when I was done I realized I not only ran the entire way but I ran it at my race pace!

In other news, I'm actually looking at races to sign up for locally.  I am definitely going to do the Sunburst 1/2 (despite the cruddy course).  Anyone want to join me?

I am also dead on with my food for the week.  I was going to say "so far" but that implies that I don't think I can continue to do it.  I'm actually beginning to think I WILL do it.

Day 5 - some of my whys

I won't lie...today I plotted the entire way home about how I could do the least amount of moving and still count it as exercise.  I was almost regretting starting this whole thing.

Then I got on the Dreadmill.  The first 10 minutes were rough.  I told myself that I would just do 15 minutes and I could be done.  Then I got to 15 minutes and said to myself "what's another 5 minutes?"  Then at 20 minutes I realized I could actually go farther than yesterday.  Being the OCD person that I am, I had to make the mileage end on a full lap:  1.75 miles.

Running the whole time.

This smile, while tire looking, is genuine.  Everyday that I move, I am getting closer to my goal.  Everyday that I move, I am getting stronger.

I know I haven't really talked about why I am doing this.  The thing is  am just sick and tired of feeling like less than what I can be as a person.  I'm sick and tired of being disappointed in myself and my lack of commitment, motivation, and follow thru.  I'm sick and tired of feeling unworthy and unattractive.  I don't want to be that sickly old woman who has to depend on others to take care of her.  I want to be that cool grandma who runs marathons.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.

And, finally, I want to be around for these guys:

The loves of my life. <3

Day 4 - tired

Nothing fancy tonight, I'm tired.  I don't work many 3 in a rows but when I do, day 2 seems to be the worst.

I did, however, come home and get on the Dreadmill.

1.5 miles, 21:27. 

I am proud that I ran the whole time but also still so disappointed that I let myself get so out of shape.  I try to keep telling myself that I will get back there eventually but of course it is too slow for me.

Anyway, this is a short one tonight.  I have to eat and get to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow.

See those bags under my eyes?  I hope I get some sleep tonight!

I also want to add that I've added an electrolyte supplement to my training because I had to do some med changes and I don't want to get dehydrated.  I love this stuff:

It tastes great and really keeps me from getting those post-workout headaches when I've gotten too dry.  You just add one dissolving tab to a water bottle.

Until tomorrow...just keep moving!

Day 3 - under protest

Really didn't want to come home after a 12 hour shift and do any sort of exercising or moving.  And then I remembered that I not only promised to do this daily but I also actually know someone in real life who knows about this and I didn't want to face her if I skipped a day... especially since I know she went home and worked out after HER 12 hour shift *coughsharoncough*

So it's HER fault that I now feel pretty damn proud of myself, even if my picture doesn't reflect that.

 

I did 2 miles on the Dreadmill, more running than walking this time but still pretty slowly.

I may not be smiling but I AM glad I did it.  If I hadn't, I know I would have spent the next few days making excuses and beating myself up.  Now I don't have to do that and I proved to myself that I am strong enough to stick to something so important to me.

So thank you Sharon...this one's for you :)

Day 2

Two a days FTW!  I ended up doing run/walk intervals on the Dreadmill last night before bed.  I knew I would have limited time today and I wanted to make sure I got some running in...it was the principle of the thing.  I did two miles in 30 minutes.  It was a bit discouraging because I have fallen so far but I'm trying really hard to not look back and just keep moving forward.

Speaking of looking back, I logged all my new measurements on my spreadsheet last night.  I've been keeping a record of measurements and weight for the last year.  It was such a reality check to see how much I've gained and how far off track I've gotten.  It wasn't surprising to me to see that the downward spiral started last spring.  I allowed myself a 5 minute cry and now I am more determined than ever to beat this!

I tried really hard to talk myself out of getting up this morning to work out.  I have a viewing and a funeral to go to today (2 different people) and I knew if I didn't get up right away and do it then the likelihood of it getting done later was pretty slim.  I have all sorts of excuses when I want to avoid working:  I'm tired, I'm too busy, I have to work, I don't want to take 2 showers, I'm sore...you get the idea.  This morning as I lay there trying to go back to sleep, those excuses were making their appearance.  And then I remembered how proud I felt yesterday after I was done and how appalled I was at my weight and measurements and more importantly, how upset I got over not being able to do things I used to do even 9 months ago.

And that got me out of bed.

30 minutes of Jillian later, I'm feeling pretty good.  Sweaty and red-faced, but good.  I still have a bit of trouble with upper body stuff (shoulder injury I'm currently dealing with) but I didn't let that stop me and did what I could.  It definitely was enough to leave me soaked in sweat!

Here I am in all my sweaty glory.  My shirt says "powerful, strong, beautiful, unbeatable".  I chose it purposely to try to talk myself into believing that.