Welcome to MMM's 100 Days of Moving!

I have long been dissatisfied with how I look and how I feel.  I have tried many things to get myself motivated and fit but except for running, nothing seems to stick with me.  I tend to let life get in the way and end up putting myself (and my health) last on the priority list.

Those who know me (either IRL or online) know that I've had a rough time the last year and have had many stressors.  The anxiety has weighed heavy on my psyche and taken it's toll on my health.  I vaguely remember when I was on track to my personal goals but once the chit hit the fan those goals quickly became a distant memory and so did my fitter body.

This first week of the new year I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I am not where I wanted to be but I seem paralyzed with fear of failure and unable to move forward into healing.  While surfing the net I found this video and it has helped me to begin the change in attitude needed in order to find out who I am again.

This woman has inspired me to start my own 100 day challenge.  Starting today, I will move in some way everyday.  No more excuses.  I have come to the conclusion that if I don't do this now, I never will.  I have so many reasons to be healthy, to really live as opposed to just existing.  I owe this to myself to take control of my own life.

As part of my challenge, I will be posting daily pictures and weekly weights and monthly measurements.  This is huge for me.  I don't generally put myself out there and I'm deeply ashamed at how I look. I need to do this, though.  If I can't love myself the way I am now, how will I be able to love myself even if I succeed at my weight loss goals?

So here it is, my "now" picture, along with my stats:

(please pardon my daughter's messy room, it's on the agenda for today!)

Weight:  196.6
Height:  5'3"
Neck:  15"
Chest:  42"
Waist:  43"
Hips:  46"
L Thigh:  25.5"
R Thigh:  25.5"
L Bicep:  13"
R Bicep:  13"
L Calf:  15.5"
R Calf:  15.5"

So now it's time for some goals.  I'm starting small, if I think about it too much, I will be overwhelmed and give up before I even begin.  So for now, some short term goals (meaning for this week) are:

• Move everyday this week for at least 20 minutes.
• Open up to others about my journey in order to get the support I need (hence this blog!)
• Focus on the positive today.  When those negative voices start chattering, tell them to shut the **** up!
• Let those who love me, love me.  Put faith in them and believe that when they say I am beautiful, believe it to be so.

As for today, I've already done some moving :)  I did this DVD, 35 minutes of Hell:

And this is how I looked when it was done:

I want to attempt the Dreadmill later (it's in the bedroom and T is sleeping off working overnight).  I will approach it with no expectations.  I will run for the sake of running, because I love it.  If I'm slow, that's ok.

If you made it this far, please know how much I appreciate your support.  I'm  scared I'll fail but I refuse to let that fear stop me from trying.

I leave you with this, a piece of motivation I found that I may frame and hang on my wall: